“They stole my daughter.” These are the words of a father whose relationship with his daughter fractured after she became radicalized by woke ideology at her Ivy League school.

A colleague of mine is longtime friends with this family. He worked as an FBI agent with the father in New York City. The father came from a wealthy and prominent family in New York. Their financial means afforded them the ability to provide their children a great life. They are also Christians and raised their kids with Christian morals and principles. The daughter thrived in this environment. She excelled in school, loved her family, and enjoyed her life. Her academic prowess opened the door for her to attend Yale University where she would focus on a biochemistry major.

This loving and proud father did not notice any immediate changes in his daughter. But the evidence soon became apparent. . This happy young girl no longer radiated the previous joy that had marked her life. She eventually changed her major from biochemistry to English (which is often the most woke  department at any university). She stopped identifying as a Christian. Soon she even stopped identifying as a woman. The girl never finished school. She dropped out and moved to Colombia to live in a commune. She renounced her family for their wealth and accused them of systemic oppression and white supremacy.

This once happy and successful young woman became a person her family does not recognize. Their daughter is gone. Sure, she’s still alive and possesses the same DNA as the girl they raised but the person they knew is no longer there. They grieve their daughter like the death of a child.

Unfortunately, this story repeats itself more and more each year in families across the country. Moms and dads send their children off to college to get an education and receive back raging activists who despise their families and upbringings. Colleges and universities today pride themselves on discipling students in progressive ideology. Each year they push the boundaries further. These students often return home questioning their gender or rejecting the gender binary altogether. They come back with goofy pronouns, perverted sexual ethics, and hurl accusations of racism at everyone, including black people who perpetuate whiteness, whatever that means. They embrace victimhood, the new display of virtuousness.

Despite the growing casualties list and hostile environment, Christian parents keep sending their children to these universities. We keep burning our hands in the fire yet continue asking for more wood. We either think it’s not that bad or we think our children won’t fall prey. In both cases we’re wrong.

Christian parents and mentors need to engage in conversations with their kids about college choices long before it’s decision time. Many don’t even need to go to college. But for those seeking careers in industries that require a degree, we must help them choose wisely. The ideology of the school and faculty matters big time. Jesus reminds us that a fully trained disciple becomes like their teacher (Luke 6:40). It is inevitable. If the university faculty are woke ideologues, they will try to make your kid one too.

Search out what kind of campus clubs and organizations are there. Are there solid Christian clubs on campus for your child to connect with other believers? Are there strong churches in the surrounding community? We must answer these questions before sending our children to places that are trying to strip them of their Christian beliefs.

Another question to ask is: are there solid Christian colleges and universities that offer the degree program my child needs? If yes, why not go there? If it comes down to  a choice between a progressive university and a conservative Christian university, why would you choose the progressive one? Many want the prestige of the “Yale” or name recognition of the state school, but those things are not worth losing your kids over. Also, be wary of the colleges and universities who purport to be Christian universities but are only that by name. Many “Christian” universities are no different than state schools or Ivy League schools. Do your homework.

Lastly, parents should be in churches that help prepare their kids with training in a biblical worldview. Student ministries need to ground students in Scripture and biblical theology. They must address the hard issues and topics students face. If we don’t equip them on how to think about gender, sexuality, the value of life, justice, and all the other things they engage with daily, then someone else will fill the void.

Parents and churches must quit being passive in their children’s worldview formation. We must stop sending our children into the lion’s den and wondering how they keep coming back mauled and unrecognizable.

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A great resource related to this subject is Erik’s book Hold The Line: A Call for Christian Conviction in a Culture of Conformity. Also, find an Engaging Truth Conference near you, and help your students and young adults to develop a biblical worldview in a culture of chaos.